Michelle McManus, Rick Waller, Hear’Say, One True Voice. Any of these names ring any bells? How about Steve Brookstein or Shayne Ward No? Just goes to show, winning a 1 million smacker record deal on national TV doesn’t do anything for your reputation once the hype has died down.
The commercialised drivel that dares to monopolise the formerly few worthwhile channels in our multichannel environment is quite frankly the most superficial bag of donkey excrement I have ever come across.
No matter how sad it is that this poor attempt at entertainment graces our screens, there is nothing sadder than the thought that I watch it along with the other 99% of the population. It practically brings me to tears. How can we all be so caught up in this phone-in fanatic’s paradise that we find the time to watch this TV that we promptly go online and moan about?
From the sparkling dresses on Strictly Come Dancing to the vomit worthy antics on I’m A Celebrity, the thread of Facebook is constantly taken up by people cutting each other’s opinions down and slating pretty much all of the contestants in turn. It’s no wonder Susan Boyle never made it through Britain’s Got Talent without needing help. The ridicule these people have to put up with is a monstrosity.
Over the course of this year’s X-factor poor old Joe McElderry came in for a shock when a Facebook group beat him to the top of the charts. I mean, yeah, when asked what was the Christmas Number One 2009, you would say ‘Killing In the Name’ – Rage Against the Machine… but was it really the song that got to number one, or the concept of commercial failure? I think it’s fairly accurate to say that people didn’t really buy the ‘controversial’ nonsense because they wanted it. They just really wanted to piss off Simon Cowell.
Of the profit-seeking TV that has graced our screens over the past ten years, nothing can be worse than the proprietor of all that calls itself reality TV. How in anyway can watching a group of people, locked in a house being treated like performing monkeys be classed as a real situation? Disregarding this, how can it even be the slightest bit interesting?
The majority of Big Brother screen time is live and due to the foul mouthed cretins that populate the Big Brother house most of the programme is dubbed with the sound of bird song to prevent a breach of Ofcom’s media regulations. Which leads me to think… what on earth is the point? Surely they could be showing something a bit more interesting? Or failing that, another episode of Friends.
There is light at the end of the tunnel though. Big Brother series 11 has been announced as the last ever time we will have to endure this appalling excuse for entertainment. Although the diary room may have been an original idea to begin with, it is starting to become clear that ideas are thin. I turned on the Tele-box the other day and discovered a contestant having a conversation with a talking tree in return for Tabasco sauce. Now that really is dire straights.
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